Happily Ever After?

            A couple of years ago I met my friend Phil for dinner at Applebees.  Phil was home for spring break and we dedicated the evening to catching up with each other and swapping stories.  Phil had asked me what my post college plans were and I had told him that I hoped to stay in the area.  To my repulsion, Phil asked, “But how are you going to find a man that way?”  It angered me to think that the sole basis for my decisions should be the likelihood of finding a man.  I don’t recall Jane Austen writing, “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single woman in possession of some commonsense, must be in want of a husband.”

            The story is not an uncommon one; it’s continuously rehashed and retold.  A smart, successful, hardworking woman, dissatisfied and unhappy with her life, tries to find her joy and passion again.  Maybe she should find a new job?  Maybe she should go back to school and get another degree?  Maybe she should travel, clear her mind, and experience the world?  No, no, and no.  The solution is far simpler – all she needs is a man.  Yes, once this man waltzes into her life, the woman’s days of unhappiness are over.

            While this may originally seem to be the case in Like Water for Chocolate, the relationships between female and male characters are more often a source of unhappiness and emotional pain than a source of happiness, fulfillment, and satisfaction.  It is through relationships that the female characters experience their greatest struggles, to the point that many of the female characters would be better off without a relationship, lover, or marriage.  Tita longs for the love of her life, Pedro, but Mama Elena dictates that Tita must remain single so that she can care for her mother until her mother dies.  Tita must remain passive when her sister Rosaura marries Pedro instead.  The grass is no greener on Rosaura’s side of the fence, either.  Rosaura feels neglected by her husband, Pedro, and fears that Pedro’s love for Tita will turn her into a fool and the subject of mockery.  Though she and Pedro marry, she must live with the knowledge that Pedro has always loved and continues to love Tita more.  The third sister, Gertrudis, experiences a different kind of dissatisfaction when it comes to men.  When Pedro gives Tita roses to show that he still cares for her, Tita refuses to throw them away despite Mama Elena’s wishes.  Instead, Tita clutches the roses so tightly that she begins to bleed and then proceeds to use the flowers to cook quail in rose petal sauce for her family.  After eating the quail, Gertrudis is filled with a lust so great that the lover she later meets cannot satisfy her and she ends up in a brothel in hopes that some man (or many men) could satisfy her.  Finally, both Nacha and Mama Elena lost the men they loved and lived out the rest of their lives unfulfilled. 

            I will be focusing on Tita’s relationship with Pedro.  Despite her love for Pedro, she grows angry with him for having abandoned her.  During her mother’s funeral, readers see a more vindictive side of Tita.  (“Pedro didn’t deserve to have her love him so much.  He had shown weakness by going away and leaving her; she could not forgive him.  John took Tita’s hand on the way back to the ranch, and Tita in turn took his arm, to emphasize that there was something more than friendship between them.  She wanted to cause Pedro the same pain she had always felt seeing him beside her sister.”)  Tita feels that her bitterness is justified.  Tita knows that if Pedro would have been more assertive, he could have refused to marry Rosaura and could have even run away with Tita.  Furthermore, Tita and Pedro don’t view the marriage similarly.  Pedro believes that his marriage to Rosaura will allow him to continue his relationship with Tita since they will continue to see each other and live under the same roof.  Tita, however, is pained by the marriage and does not see Pedro’s proximity as a silver lining to having to watch her sister marry him instead. 

            When Tita prepares to move on with her life by accepting John Brown’s proposal, it is once again Pedro who interferes with her happiness.  Tita is able to have a chance at happiness and asks that Pedro respects her decision.  (“Pedro, you’re hardly the one to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do.  When you were going to get married, I didn’t ask you not to do it, even though your wedding destroyed me.  You have your life, now leave me in peace to have mine!...I entreat you, never bother me again for the rest of my life…Ah, and let me suggest, next time you fall in love, don’t be such a coward.)  Through these statements, Tita temporarily gains power in her relationship with Pedro and is no longer a victim.  By calling Pedro a coward, she asserts her emotional dominance.  Tita is once again able to demonstrate that she would rather be without Pedro in her life than have to watch him with Rosaura.

            Despite Tita’s wish that Pedro leave her alone, Pedro continues to exercise power over her, through his viewing of Tita in the shower and his seduction of Tita after the engagement dinner.  (“When Tita saw that Pedro was approaching her, with lust in his eyes, she went running out of the bathroom, throwing her clothes on any which way.  As fast as she could, she ran to her room and shut the door.”)  Pedro feels that he has the right to view Tita in the shower, a very vulnerable and sensual place.  Tita, however, does not feel that Pedro has this right, resulting in her quick escape from the shower.  Pedro’s inability to allow Tita to find happiness in a life without him results in his destruction of Tita’s engagement.  Pedro acts as though his actions are not only justifiable, but welcome.  (“Sensing another’s presence, Tita spun around; the light clearly revealed the figure of Pedro, barring the door.  “Pedro!  What are you doing here?”  Without answering, Pedro went to her, extinguished the lamp, pulled her to a brass bed that had once belonged to her sister Gertrudis, and throwing himself upon her, caused her to lose her virginity.”)  It is alarming that Pedro is already in the storeroom waiting for Tita.  Pedro had planned to sleep with Tita.  When Pedro surprises Tita in the storeroom, he does not ask for her consent or even state his purpose, but proceeds to seduce her.  The phrase “throwing himself upon her” also shows Pedro’s aggressive and dominating nature.  Pedro is more concerned with his satisfaction and desires than Tita’s.

            Even at the end of the novel, Tita is so controlled by her love for Pedro that she kills herself to be with him.  Even from beyond the grave, Pedro is able to manipulate Tita.  Earlier in the novel, Tita symbolized independence and the ability to carry on with one’s life in the face of hardship.  She was able to conduct herself with grace and find a life outside of Pedro.  Now that Pedro is free of Rosaura, Tita has abandoned her independence and seeks only to be Pedro’s love.    She becomes dependent on Pedro, even to the point of death.

Is that what it means to live “happily ever after?”

The Particular Sadness of Cake

"Food is all those substances which, submitted to the action of the stomach, can be assimilated or changed into life by digestion, and can thus repair the losses which the human body suffers through the art of living." (Brillat-Savarin)

Today I will be focusing on two compatible books: The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake (by Aimee Bender) and Like Water for Chocolate (by Laura Esquivel).  The protagonists of both novels seem to have a  mystical connection to food.  The protagonist of The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake, young Rose Edelstein, discovers that she can taste the emotions in food that others have prepared.  Alternatively, the protagonist in Like Water for Chocolate, Tita, seems to have the ability to infuse her cooking with her own emotions.  Ah, the power of food!

We've all heard the expression 'made with love,' but what if there was a different, more unsettling, emotion behind your food.  Rose used to love her mother's lemon cake, but suddenly she tastes something besides sugar and frosting in the cake: she tastes her mother's emptiness and dissatisfaction.  Rose gets an unwilling glimpse into her mother's emotional life, one which differs from her mother's typically cheery public facade.  Rose says, "  "I knew if I ate anything of hers again it would likely give me the same message: Help me, I am not happy ... And now my job was to pretend I did not get the message." Rose's sixth sense when it comes to food does not just end with her mother, though.  Rose can taste any emotion felt by anyone preparing her food, or even the ingredients in her food.  Anger, despair, joy - Rose can taste them all.  The power becomes too strong for her to handle, though, and Rose soon resorts to eating only highly packaged and machine made food to minimize feeling others' emotions.

Tita, on the other hand, uses her food as an outlet for her emotions.  While the kitchen begins as a source of sanctuary for Tita and a place where she can freely express herself before Nacha, the cook, Tita soon is able to express herself outside of the kitchen through her food.  Cooking serves as a form of communication and empowers Tita to express her emotions without offending her sister Rosaura (who married the man Tita loves) and her mother (who forbid Tita to marry, since the youngest daughter must remain single and care for the mother).  Tita, having been trained in the art of cooking since she was a child, is able to reach the heart of Pedro, whereas Rosaura, having no culinary experience, is unable.  (The quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach, right?)  Tita's frustration and despair over Pedro's and Rosaura's wedding manifests itself in their wedding cake she helped prepare.  After tasting the cake, the couple and the guests are subject to this same despair and frustration.  "The moment they took their first bite of the cake, everyone was flooded with a great wave of longing.  Even Pedro, usually so proper, was having trouble holding back his tears....But the weeping was just the first symptom of a strange intoxication - an acute attack of pain and frustration - that seized the guests and scattered them across the patio and grounds and int he bathrooms, all of them wailing over lost love."  The following chapter shows how Tita's sexual desire for Pedro is poured out into her dish of quail in rose petal sauce and the startling effects it has on her sister, Gertrudis.

Now I would like to return to the starting quote by Brillat-Savarin, 19th century French author of The Physiology of Taste.  While it is unlikely that Brillat-Savarin wrote this metaphorically, the quote can describe what both Rose and Tita are experiencing.  For both characters, food serves to repair a loss.  For Rose, food mends the emotional disconnect she feels with those around her, even if reestablishing that connection is painful.  For Tita, food repairs the losses in her personal life (her inability to become a wife and mother) and allows her to find other fulfillment.

With that being said, let all food you cook be cooked with love.

Sexual Politics in The Edible Woman

In Margaret Atwood’s The Edible Woman, both Ainsley (Marian’s roommate) and Duncan trick others into having sex with them.  Ainsley poses as a younger, innocent girl to catch the eye of Marian’s college friend Len.  Ainsley hopes to become pregnant by sleeping with Len, though she wants nothing to do with Len after the fact.  Ainsley justifies her act of deception with the knowledge that Len sleeps with many young girls and by doing so, bolsters his ego.  Ainsley doesn’t foresee that Len will feel violated by her actions.  After Ainsley becomes pregnant, Len tells her, “All along you’ve only been using me.  What a moron I was to think you were sweet and innocent, when it turns out you were actually college-educated the whole time!  Oh they’re all the same.  You weren’t interested in me at all.  The only thing you wanted from me was my body!”  While it would be difficult for many readers to applaud or even justify Len’s behavior towards young women, can we applaud or justify Ainsley’s behavior towards Len?   Is Ainsley acting out of selfishness?  Though she may be acting out of selfishness during her “seduction” of Len, later readers see her feelings of guilt over not thinking her scheme through.  (“But then they had this psy-psy-psychologist and he talked about the Father Image…He says they ought to grow up with a strong Father Image in the home…It’s good for them, it makes them normal, especially if they’re boys.” )  While Ainsley is able to mend her situation by finding a husband in Fischer, Len is still unable to accept his role in the ordeal.  Len is for once rendered powerless, unable to persuade Ainsley to have an abortion and unwilling to step into the role of fatherhood. 

Duncan also presents himself as innocent and weak and allows Marian to believe she holds the power, at least in the bedroom.  Duncan plays Marian by saying, “The thing is, I’d like something to be real…I thought maybe you would be.  I mean if we went to bed, god knows you’re unreal enough now, all I can think of is those layers and layers of woolly clothes you wear, coats and sweaters and so on.  Sometimes I wonder whether it goes on and on, maybe you’re woolen all the way through.  It would be sort of nice if you weren’t.”  Though Marian is aware of Duncan’s self-centered nature, she continually believes she reaches a point of honesty and vulnerability with him and is continually deceived.  Marian wants to be Duncan’s Florence Nightingale and Duncan is willing to let her assume the role if it satisfies his hunger for physical intimacy.  After sleeping together, Duncan tells Marian, “You want me to say it was stupendous, don’t you?  That it got me out of my shell.  Hatched me into manhood.  Solved all my problems.  Sure you do, and I could always tell you would.  I like people participating in my fantasy life and I’m usually willing to participate in theirs, up to a point.  It was fine; just as good as usual.”  This admission strips Marian of her Nightingale identity and she subsequently destroys her identity as Peter’s fiancée.  While Duncan helps Marian to see that her engagement to Peter was a mistake, Marian finally realizes that Duncan is no suitable replacement for Peter.  Marian sees that Duncan is just as manipulative as Peter and likely more dangerous to her wellbeing.