A couple of years ago I met my friend Phil for dinner at
Applebees. Phil was home for spring
break and we dedicated the evening to catching up with each other and swapping stories. Phil had asked me what
my post college plans were and I had told him that I hoped to stay in the
area. To my repulsion, Phil asked, “But
how are you going to find a man that way?”
It angered me to think that the sole basis for my decisions should be
the likelihood of finding a man. I don’t
recall Jane Austen writing, “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a
single woman in possession of some commonsense, must be in want of a husband.”
The story is not an uncommon one; it’s continuously
rehashed and retold. A smart,
successful, hardworking woman, dissatisfied and unhappy with her life, tries to
find her joy and passion again. Maybe
she should find a new job? Maybe she
should go back to school and get another degree? Maybe she should travel, clear her mind, and
experience the world? No, no, and
no. The solution is far simpler – all
she needs is a man. Yes, once this man
waltzes into her life, the woman’s days of unhappiness are over.
While this may originally seem to be the case in Like Water for Chocolate, the
relationships between female and male characters are more often a source of
unhappiness and emotional pain than a source of happiness, fulfillment, and
satisfaction. It is through
relationships that the female characters experience their greatest struggles,
to the point that many of the female characters would be better off without a
relationship, lover, or marriage. Tita
longs for the love of her life, Pedro, but Mama Elena dictates that Tita must
remain single so that she can care for her mother until her mother dies. Tita must remain passive when her sister
Rosaura marries Pedro instead. The grass
is no greener on Rosaura’s side of the fence, either. Rosaura feels neglected by her husband,
Pedro, and fears that Pedro’s love for Tita will turn her into a fool and the
subject of mockery. Though she and Pedro
marry, she must live with the knowledge that Pedro has always loved and
continues to love Tita more. The third
sister, Gertrudis, experiences a different kind of dissatisfaction when it
comes to men. When Pedro gives Tita
roses to show that he still cares for her, Tita refuses to throw them away
despite Mama Elena’s wishes. Instead,
Tita clutches the roses so tightly that she begins to bleed and then proceeds
to use the flowers to cook quail in rose petal sauce for her family. After eating the quail, Gertrudis is filled
with a lust so great that the lover she later meets cannot satisfy her and she
ends up in a brothel in hopes that some man (or many men) could satisfy
her. Finally, both Nacha and Mama Elena
lost the men they loved and lived out the rest of their lives unfulfilled.
I will be focusing on Tita’s relationship with
Pedro. Despite her love for Pedro, she
grows angry with him for having abandoned her.
During her mother’s funeral, readers see a more vindictive side of
Tita. (“Pedro didn’t deserve to have her
love him so much. He had shown weakness
by going away and leaving her; she could not forgive him. John took Tita’s hand on the way back to the
ranch, and Tita in turn took his arm, to emphasize that there was something
more than friendship between them. She
wanted to cause Pedro the same pain she had always felt seeing him beside her
sister.”) Tita feels that her bitterness
is justified. Tita knows that if Pedro
would have been more assertive, he could have refused to marry Rosaura and
could have even run away with Tita.
Furthermore, Tita and Pedro don’t view the marriage similarly. Pedro believes that his marriage to Rosaura
will allow him to continue his relationship with Tita since they will continue
to see each other and live under the same roof.
Tita, however, is pained by the marriage and does not see Pedro’s
proximity as a silver lining to having to watch her sister marry him instead.
When Tita prepares to move on with her life by accepting
John Brown’s proposal, it is once again Pedro who interferes with her
happiness. Tita is able to have a chance
at happiness and asks that Pedro respects her decision. (“Pedro, you’re hardly the one to tell me what
I should or shouldn’t do. When you were
going to get married, I didn’t ask you not to do it, even though your wedding
destroyed me. You have your life, now
leave me in peace to have mine!...I entreat you, never bother me again for the
rest of my life…Ah, and let me suggest, next time you fall in love, don’t be
such a coward.) Through these
statements, Tita temporarily gains power in her relationship with Pedro and is
no longer a victim. By calling Pedro a
coward, she asserts her emotional dominance. Tita is once again able to demonstrate that
she would rather be without Pedro in her life than have to watch him with
Rosaura.
Despite Tita’s wish that Pedro leave her alone, Pedro
continues to exercise power over her, through his viewing of Tita in the shower
and his seduction of Tita after the engagement dinner. (“When Tita saw that Pedro was approaching
her, with lust in his eyes, she went running out of the bathroom, throwing her
clothes on any which way. As fast as she
could, she ran to her room and shut the door.”)
Pedro feels that he has the right to view Tita in the shower, a very
vulnerable and sensual place. Tita,
however, does not feel that Pedro has this right, resulting in her quick escape
from the shower. Pedro’s inability to
allow Tita to find happiness in a life without him results in his destruction
of Tita’s engagement. Pedro acts as
though his actions are not only justifiable, but welcome. (“Sensing another’s presence, Tita spun
around; the light clearly revealed the figure of Pedro, barring the door. “Pedro!
What are you doing here?” Without
answering, Pedro went to her, extinguished the lamp, pulled her to a brass bed
that had once belonged to her sister Gertrudis, and throwing himself upon her,
caused her to lose her virginity.”) It
is alarming that Pedro is already in the storeroom waiting for Tita. Pedro had planned to sleep with Tita. When Pedro surprises Tita in the storeroom,
he does not ask for her consent or even state his purpose, but proceeds to
seduce her. The phrase “throwing himself
upon her” also shows Pedro’s aggressive and dominating nature. Pedro is more concerned with his satisfaction
and desires than Tita’s.
Even at the end of the novel, Tita is so controlled by
her love for Pedro that she kills herself to be with him. Even from beyond the grave, Pedro is able to
manipulate Tita. Earlier in the novel,
Tita symbolized independence and the ability to carry on with one’s life in the
face of hardship. She was able to
conduct herself with grace and find a life outside of Pedro. Now that Pedro is free of Rosaura, Tita has
abandoned her independence and seeks only to be Pedro’s love. She becomes dependent on Pedro, even to the
point of death.
Is that what it means
to live “happily ever after?”
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